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Tiger Zinda Hai – The Layman Review by Majid Khan

TIGER ZINDA HAI

I didn’t really like Ek Tha Tiger but still I watched this pile of crap. To be honest I had nothing better to do. Thank God this movie wasn’t allowed to be played in cinema. Anyway I downloaded it from my cable net server and here is what i thought watching this movie.

via: the hindu

MUSLIMS

Obviously the starting showed Muslim terrorists 😒Who else can create terror in this world if not the followers of religion of peace 😒. The head terrorist was named “Abu Usman”. So creative naa? You will hear a lot of names likes Najma, Sughra, Farzana etc after a long time.

And yes once again the muslims looked like this and repeatedly said “Janaab”

via: fb

THE ENTRY OF TIGER

At the same time the hero Tiger (Salman Khan) was skiing somewhere in the Austrian Alps with a kid. Oh wait he is the son of Tiger and Zoya (Katrina Kaif). And they were attacked by a pack of wolves.

Not so surprisingly Salman Khan fought with all of them.

I don’t know why but I feel Salman Khan copied Bradley Cooper from the A-Team the whole movie

via: diet-fitness

SLICE WALI

At the same time Zoya (Katrina) was in a grocery store fighting bravely with muggers. She tried her best to act like Elektra of Daredevil or we can say Angelina Jolie of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but miserably failed.

Then the only good thing of the movie came

Obviously we know he is the one to solve that Abu-Usman issue so the was blessed with the presence of someone from Indian High Commission requesting him to resume work.

So he agreed after a few nakhray. Here I am gonna prove a point again without saying anything

Anyway he assembled a team of his own to save the lives of those Naghma Salma nurses. A few badass dialogues were included to show what a dangerous guy TIGER is. Soon after the mission commenced Tiger got into trouble and Cat Woman came to rescue her husband (a great twist)

She came with infantry of ISI and both Salman and Katrina decided to make ISI work with RAW to save those nurses. Another great twist which wasn’t expected :/

Paresh Rawal was also in the movie as Firdous. I don’t know what Indian the writers, directors etc were thinking when deciding the names of characters. The hero is given the name we give to our pet dogs. Paresh Rawal reminding us of Firdous Ashiq Awan.

He was also an agent of ISI and helped save their lives. Another twist came which made the mission tougher. Abu-Usman turned that hospital in the biggest base of ISIS.

They faked injuries and got admission in that hospital. And then Tiger Met Abu-Usman

We all know what was supposed to happen now. A lot of planning and a lot of action with blasts and gunfire. But in the end they managed to safely escort the nurses out of the hospital. But Katrina was fund captive of Abu-Usman. How unpredictable:

CLIMAX

Tiger was also tied to a chair with Zoya but then I witnessed the most absurd thing that ever happened. Abu-Usman left the hospital and suddenly Tiger was seen roaming around firing and killing people. . . And yes he was topless

Even a guy like Punisher wears a bullet-proof vest but NO our tiger will stay topless in a war zone

via: pinterest

Now let me show you one more thing.

 

He went outside with a machine gun and started firing on the terrorists and that scene will definitely remind you of Arnold from “Commando” or Stallone from “Rambo”.

An Indian agent from the team died to save a Pakistani agent. This was necessary to create harmony.

A few hundred fires and a dozen blasts later. The team successfully managed to get all the nurses + 30 other foreigner hostages out of the warzone along with killing the dangerous Abu-Usman.

Zoya was injured and tied and they were on a tight deadline so she asked Tiger to leave and to take care of the kid. But still he somehow managed to leave within 2 seconds before the airstrike. Again no explanation was provided on how Tiger saved Zoya at the same moment when a missile was fired on them.

 

CONCLUSION

You are really not missing anything if you didn’t watch this movie. Watch it if you have nothing to do and you are not even sleepy and you hate yourself.

 

 

majid khan
A finance guy writing stupid stuff after boring work. Twitter @ComicsByMajid Instagram @ Main_Abdul_Majid_Hoon Facebook @ComicsByMajid
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