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VIVAH – STUPID MOVIES WE WATCH BACK THEN

VIVAAH

I don’t know why but whenever I decide to write about a STUPID movie it turns out to be of SOORAJ BARJATYA. This time when I was thinking about a stupid movie, I looked back in my daag daar maazi. Suddenly VIVAH popped up in my mind and not so surprisingly it is also a movie by BARJATYA Sahab .

APPRECIATION OF THE MOVIE

This movie is another sugarcoated pile of crap starring Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao and others The very first scene of this movie featured the great Alok Nath and now you can imagine how sanskaari this movie is gonna be when Alok Nath is in the first scene.

The flashbacks scenes gave the basic idea that Poonam was his niece but he adopted her after her parents died. Mrs. Sanskaari hated her because she was prettier than the real daughter. Even in the flashbacks Alok Nath looked old and 60.

It is also said that Alok Nath is so sanskaari he did the kanyadaan of his own wife. If he was cast in Taken replacing Liam Neeson he would have said “I don’t know who you are I don’t know what you want but I will find you and will do your kanyadaan”

FAMILY JEWELER

Some Bhagat jee came to their home to deliver some jewelry from Delhi to Madhupur.

Amrita Rao was introduced as Poonam and as per his hobby Alok Nath started imagining Poonam’s kanyadaan.

COLORIST ISSUE

This girl was introduced as the saanwli behen who was not getting rishtas due to her complexion. I am not gonna get in those details as that may be sensitive for feminists etc and I am a poor guy I can’t afford backlash. Please keep in mind that she used some dark foundation for that complexion.
The movie is full of sanskaari songs in shudh hindi. The overacting of this sister will make you puke and you will be thinking for long “who talks and behaves like this?”
Bhagat ji suggested a rishta from Delhi. The son of industrialist Harishchandar ji (Anupam Kher). So I was wondering why I never get a rishta offer from Hyderabad Sukkur etc but they easily get rishta offers from other cities .

PHATA POSTER NIKLA PREM

Shahid Kapoor was that son PREM. The favorite name of Sooraj Barjatya. I guess some pandit told him at the start of his career that PREM is a lucky name for him.

Wanna watch the worst of Shahid Kapoor? Even Shaandar wasn’t his baddest. This is the one. I don’t know why Sooraj asks his actors to overact in every scene. Anyway Prem is also a sanskari son who fell in love with Poonam just looking at her picture.

The bhabhi started acting all chichori and teased Prem. Her overacting reminded me of Saif Ali Khan and Karishma from HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN.
Families met and that jeweler Bhagat uncle was happy for no reason.
Poonam was brought in front of the family decorated like a mazaar.
The couple was sent to terrace to talk and they talked about some lame useless stuff and both agreed for vivah.
Alok Nath can’t live without kanyadaan so they did baat pakki rasam on the spot

STAYING AT IN-LAWS

The whole tabbar came to stay at potential in laws of Prem. I don’t know if that is acceptable or something but I will definitely feel awkward doing that
A bro who is quite useless in the movie took prem and poonam to a picnic at a lake. Another sanskaari song came “Milan Abhi Adha Adhura Hai”. You will hate arrange marriages if you watch this movie.
She came to meet him at the rooftop in night and we were blessed with another ajeb sa yet famous song MUJHE HAQ HAI
When leaving for his home he almost cried. What kinda guy cries just going back to his home? Idiot sissy
Mommy was angry as Alok Nath was spending a lot on his favorite hobby “Vivah”
A lot of sugarcoated shit kept on going, Prem was shown so much desperate he kept on thinking of Poonam all the time. I call it bullshit. Nobody can think of a girl all the time. Guys got a lot on their minds. Earning, roaming around, staring at walls etc.
The angry lady stopped talking to Poonam and said she won’t be participating in the marriage.
Poonam was sad. Another sanskaari song came.
Finally a twist came in the sugarcoated stupidity Barjatya was feeding. Fire broke out in their home a day before the Kanyadaan.
Poonam saved the dark wali larki from fire but herself was severely burned.
Was rushed to hospital.
I guess she was taken to Sanjeevani hospital as Dr. Shushank was there to treat her.

VAMP

You can never find a villain in Sooraj Barjatya’s crap of a movie and same is the case here. The grumpy Mrs. Alok Nath was moved by her actions of saving the girl.
Prem came to the hospital and said he will marry Poonam right there. He filled her maang with sindoor in the burn center. Here you won’t be allowed to enter the burn center of Patel Hospital for any such chichori activities.
The operation was successful. I don’t know why she was operated. No internal organs are damaged in 2nd degree burns. Prem took care of her at the hospital till she was discharged.
The evil chachi became friends with her as Barjatya got no idea what are twists and turns and sad endings etc so all his movies are supposed to end happily.
Finally Alok Nath got to do the Kanyadaan and Vivah so he was happy.
Prem finally got the HAQ he was looking for.
And the movie ended after 2 hours and 46 minutes. Sorry for wasting your time.
Here are a few of our previous pieces
http://raddipaper.pk/index.php/2017/12/06/chori-chori-chupke-chupke-stupid-movies/
http://raddipaper.pk/index.php/2017/12/02/main-prem-ki-diwani-hoon/
http://raddipaper.pk/index.php/2017/09/18/stupid-movies-watched-judaai/
http://raddipaper.pk/index.php/2017/09/06/stupid-movies-we-watched-sooryavansham/
http://raddipaper.pk/index.php/2017/11/15/hum-saath-saath-hain-eighteen-years-stupidity/
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majid khan
A finance guy writing stupid stuff after boring work. Twitter @ComicsByMajid Instagram @ Main_Abdul_Majid_Hoon Facebook @ComicsByMajid
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