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I thought Sooraj Barjatya is the only legend but later I found another gem named “Kunal Kohli”. Someone asked me to watch “MUJHSE DOSTI KAROGE” and I found a whole new world of stupidity.

via: bookmyshow

First of all there was something really f*ked up with the timeline. One out of three friends went to UK to conduct some research on DOT COM. 15 years later that friend came back to India (movie set in 2002) but all that time the kids used to talk on internet when it wasn’t even introduced in India. Amazing naa?

Anyway coming toward the appreciation of movie.


Raj, tina and Pooja are childhood friends but Raj’s father went to UK for some research on DOT com.

The kids promised that they will write each other emails regularly.

Now here comes the part that fucked up the whole timeline of this world. The movie is set in 2002 and Raj’s family left 15 years ago but they started emailing right when they left.

That means in 1987 when internet was not even introduced in India. Pooja was using a colored monitor.

Coming toward the overacting part. The girl “Tina” somehow looked abnormal due to her overacting. That kid Raj thought Tina was writing emails but it was Pooja.


The talked on email for 15 years. Are you seriously gonna believe a handsome guy in UK talking only to one girl, on the internet, for 15 damn years? I call it bullshit. Are you gonna believe they never shared a single photo? Still they fell for each other.

The absurdity of falling for someone just via letters/email will remind you of SIRF TUM where Deepak fell for Aarti. This is actually the last level of being desperate and being so unlovable in real life that you look for someone on MIRC with asl plz?

The girl replying to him was POOJA (Rani Mukherji) and they were still using fatass monitors after 15 years. Okay I get it. Rani was also repellent and unlovable so she also remained on the MIRC type thing looking for love. You can’t do this now people will call you a CREEP


Now I’m coming toward a really really absurd part. Kareena is really a queen but have you ever done anything like this in the college gymnasium for no reason at all? Please be honest. Nobody does that. Try doing this for real and whole mohalla will come to see what you doing

Pooja told Tina that she was the one writing letters using her name and requested her to pretend Tina was actually writing the letters. Rani is a great actress but this movie is part of her daag daar maazi. Kareena was basically Poo from K3G + more overacting

We were blessed with a song “Jaane Woh kaisi hogi ray”. Because the unlovable guy didn’t know what the girl looked like he loved for 15 years. You can see Hrithik trying to hide his six fingers keeping hands in his pockets.

The families met after 15 years and were happy to see each other. I can understand the sentiments of old school elders but not the over joyed Hrithik.

Raj immediately fell for Tina and Rani was ignored the way we ignore internet ads.


The guy who couldn’t find anyone to love him in 15 years immediately started flirting with Tina. She started calling him Mr. America for no reason but just to sound cheesy.

Tina came all dressed up and despo Raj fell for her again.

Pooja drooled all the time watching Raj.

The way they went to ski the way they did in Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. Tina also started falling for the desperate unlovable guy.

Someone like Kareena can have any guy on planet but no no no no she will fall for the one lonely sadist who had no one for 15 years.

Raj recognized the room even after 15 years and Pooja confessed that same computer is being used for years. I don’t know what iron man kinda company made that pc.

They went to picnic party again and we were blessed with another song “Keh do ke tum mujhse dosti karogay”

Raj hummed the rhyme of their childhood of the song “Jaane dil mein kab se hai tu”. Pooja came to their lunch party and Tina left for some youth festival.

Pooja took over the party trying to woo Raj.


Pooja’s mom suggested a rishta for Tina. Bu Tina overacted in the usual bollywood nakhra style “Nahi Mujhe Shadi nahi karni”


Okay coming to the youth festival. Have you ever been to a youth festival where a college fella is just dancing on stage and all the students are cheering around?

Is it also allowed for an outsider guy to get on the stage and dance with the girl?

For that senseless dancer performance she was awarded a trophy too. Amazing naa?

Their rishta was decided right on the spot and we were given a few dialogues like “Ab hum is dosti ko rishtedaari mein badal detay hain”

A lot of cheesy and sugarcoated dialogues were given. All the above things happened within a time span of 2 weeks. Amazing naa?

Raj went back to London. Pooja came there with GOBI KE PARATHAY. I call it friend ke suhaag pe doray daalna


They went to church together and Pooja hummed the music they used in their childhood and Raj found out that she was the one who used to write letters.

He confronted her and she confessed. Now he fell for Pooja too maybe looking for a threesome or something like that.

That song came “Jaane dil mein kab se hai tu”.

To be honest that song was bad even back then. She finally succeeded in her mission to make him fall for her. Daayan bhi 7 ghar chor kar hamla karti hai but Pooja ne apni he dost ke suhaag pe dooray dalay. From now we will refer to Pooja as Daayan.

Anyway Daayan’s jaadu worked and Raj was head over heels for her. The came back from UK and found that Tina’s father had died. There were only 5 people at the funeral.

Raj, a good guy, tried to console Tina. But Daayan was jealous so she left. Tina now confessed her love for Raj.

But Daayan was still working to get him back so she started the old school method of ignoring him.

Another ajeeb thing happened. Abhi uncle ki qabar ki mitti bhi nahi sooki, 40 days bhi nahi hue aur they planned the engagement of Tina. No respect for a departed elder. Daayan acted all innocent but we all know her reality now. Why she was acting all so nice and sweet.


Raj said “we both will give qurbani as I will marry Tina and you will marry someone else”.

Three months later the family went to London. Pooja Daayan still carried on with her plan and acted rude which definitely works to make a guy crazy.

The engagement ceremony began. You can see the roop of daayan how happy she was.

Suddenly Rohan (Uday Chopra) was introduced as a potential match for Daayan.

This was whole new info for her as she was not prepared for this twist. She cried behind a pillar thinking what to do

Another UK guy falling for a desi girl because he didn’t get anyone over there. Maybe Raj belonged to the unwanted and unloved guys club and this Rohan was also a member of that club. Have you ever asked anyone “MUJHSE DOSTI KAROGE?”
The next day Rohan came to meet them for no reason. Are all UK based desi guys so desperate?
He confessed little bit of his feelings for Daayan. Check the clever smile of Daayan.
She got a whole new plan now Even the third day Rohan was there again. Farigh jobless aadmi.
He reached even the bedroom of daayan on their third meeting. I guess both parties were desperate.
Oh wait Pooja Daayan had a plan now. She started giving attention to Rohan with aim of making Raj jealous and it was working.

Akshay kumar once said “Everything is planned”

A very very irritating kinda medley started.
Pooja agreed to marry the jobless Rohan as he was always at their doorstep. He was actually the PLAN-B now. You getting my point? If the first plan worked Raj will do some stupidity.
Both couples went to a dinner and player TRUTH and TRUTH. This was sensible as who would agree to perform some stupid dare at a restaurant so I will approve this point. Tina the good girl confessed that she was not the one who wrote those letters.
The useless jobless Rohan was not stupid. He was quick to understand Pooja liked someone else. But Raj assured him there was nothing like that.
Finally the day came when Raj had to marry Tina. Pooja was tensed as she was not sure her plan would work or not.
Raj accidentally dropped some sindoor in Pooja’s maang and she acted like universe was taking over.
Suddenly Tina came out not dressed up for shadi and this is the moment when the silent Daayan won.
Tina announced to give qurbani for their love. Parents were acting like distant relatives. The just stood in silence like they had no value or say in family matters.
Pooja won and the innocent Tina was left alone. Raj friendzoned the poor girl and this broke my heart.
Now Daayan had a last thing to deal.
The jobless and heartbroken Rohan.
He acted macho and himself jumped into the friendzone saying “Mujhe 3 naye dost mil gaye hain”


See how happy the Daayan is. All that was planned. All those Gobi ke Parathay, reading the same books, going to the church and humming the same tune was part of her plan. And you think this is a happy ending? NO. She disgraced the word DOSTI. There is a whole other side of the history we ignored. Sad.

majid khan
A finance guy writing stupid stuff after boring work. Twitter @ComicsByMajid Instagram @ Main_Abdul_Majid_Hoon Facebook @ComicsByMajid

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